That was a prayer He began to answer immediately, and one I began to regret as quickly. The emotional pain I started to experience was so deep and devastating that I was overcome with sorrow daily. Uncontrollable tears were overwhelming me from early morning until late at night and during fretful sleeping.

On one of those days, when it was literally impossible to suppress the tears and sobbing, I found myself on the sidewalk in front of Surgi Center abortion clinic, passionately begging for the life of a child of a very young woman accompanied by her mother. I hurt for the young woman, her mother, the baby, and the Lord. I was in agony.

Her mother tried to comfort me. She touched my shoulder and said, “Honey, she is not hearing a word you are saying. She will not listen to anyone. Nothing will ever change her mind!” The young woman stared at me briefly, then walked toward the clinic. She turned around, hesitating, to look at me again, before continuing toward the clinic. Her mother sympathetically squeezed my hand before following her daughter.

I stood there openly sobbing, mascara running down my face, neck, and blouse. I continued to beg the Lord for the life of the child. I ignored the stares of those passing by. I was doubled over from the pain and anguish I was feeling.

Physical strength was literally draining from me as I struggled to walk to my car with weak and trembling legs to get a box of tissues, when I felt a hand on my back. I turned around, and there was the young woman! Her face was radiating joy. She threw her arms around my limp and hanging limbs. With laughter in her voice she kept saying, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Then, kissing my tear-stained face she said, “I could not believe anyone would care that much about a stranger’s baby. I wondered why I, as her mother, did not love her, then suddenly I did.”

I stood there blubbering, “Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus!” After another hug from the young woman’s mother, the two began to leave. Then the mother walked back to me and said, “It was your tears! Your tears saved my grandchild!” At that exact moment, I literally felt sorrow of the heaviest kind lifting from my heart and I became aware of the sun shining brightly around me.

Although I grieved daily for the children and all involved in the act of abortion, never again did I carry such a gut-wrenching burden. I wondered, did the Lord encourage me to pray to receive His burden so that the evidence of it would be so clear to that young woman? Did He know that was the only thing that would save that child?

I believe that I went from Prayer Warrior to genuine Intercessor that day and I realize also that the burden placed on me by His Spirit fell ever so short of what He feels  because He knows my human body and emotions would not be able to bear the weight of His agony over abortion.   

You and I must ask ourselves if we are willing to be the vessels that He can pour His anguish into, however that would manifest itself, if it would lead to the sparing of a life or the saving of a soul.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the weight of your present calling, remember that He went before you and prepared the work that you are doing, and has prepared you as the vessel perfectly fitted to the call!   

For we are God’s handiwork,

 created in Christ Jesus to do good works,

 which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

NOTE: Please go to  karenblackmercer.com/store to order my memoir, Only If God Says So!  to read more stories of both the anguish and the joy of the Lord’s calling on my life.

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